With only 6 days til race day, I'm well into my tapering and going a bit doolally as a result. The last few days have been somewhat stressful. A weekend away at my father-in-law's was punctuated by vomiting children. I have never seen as much vomit as I did this weekend, and one of my clinical placements was on a gastro ward! I'd planned to run a 10k when we got home on Sunday afternoon as part of my tapering down to race day, but when we finally got home and had put all the sicky clothes in the washing machine, I was wiped out. So I went out on a training run, but stopped after 5k as the complete absence of sleep the night before was having a major effect, and I could feel that the tendinitis I've been treating all last work was still there to a lesser degree, so I didn't want to antagonise it. But recently I have discovered 3 things about myself and running.
The first thing is that I'm naturally quite competitive. I don't like having to hold back, I'd rather throw my all into my training. This morning, before my body combat class started I had to tell the instructor I was taking the low impact options because of tapering, because god forbid she thought I had become a complete wimp and was taking the easy option! It's so hard for me to hold back, but I know it will set me up well for race day. It's just hard watching my friends all doing jump kicks and not be able to try and jump higher than them. Ditto it'll be hard on race day not taking off at top speed; that would be fine on a 5k but over 10 miles will not end well!
The second thing I have learnt is that I will have to work hard to fit my training around my family and other commitments. My children have to be my first and foremost priority, there's no argument about that. But, like this weekend, sometimes situations will arise where a planned training session will have to be abandoned or cut short, and frustrating as that will be, I will have to deal. That might seem like an obvious thing to say, but running and training in general are very sacred parts of my life, so I will need to get better at sacrificing them should my family need me. This may entail getting up early and running at 5.30am as I get into my marathon training. Yikes!! That'll be painful!
The third and final thing I have figured out this week is that I run best when I'm happy. When my mood is low and my depression has got a strong hold over me, everything seems to move in slow motion. It's like running through treacle. The negative voice that irritates every runner at the first part of their run seems more insistent, making me doubt my ability to keep going and complete the distance. Recently my mood has been well and truly in my boots. Training has been tough. It's easy to put up a positive "I'm ok" aura for the rest of the world, but that doesn't extend to my legs so to achieve anything during a training session requires stubbornness and mental grit.And it is all this that reminds me of why I'm running for Mind, because no matter how bad I feel, other people are suffering with their mental health way worse, and I'm lucky to have an amazing husband and supportive family behind me. So I will continue to carry the flag for Mind, and I will remain proud in doing so.
Tonight I'm launching a Guess My Time competition for the Great South Run. Hopefully I'll increase my fundraising whilst giving people a bit of fun. Fingers crossed it's a success!
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